Drinks for the Royal Wedding

The nation may be Wills and Kate crazy at the moment, but even the best of us can’t resist the opportunity for a garden shindig with bunting, gingham and the pals. Hell, we’d do it every week if we could, but sadly these things only come around once a generation so let’s do it proper. We need vol-au-vents (prawn marie rose and coronation chicken, of course); cucumber sandwiches (sans crusts); and plenty and plenty of delicious cake nibbled from the cradle of a paper napkin.

But most importantly we need an elixir fit to toast a king (to-be) so here are some drinks to get you giddy and fuzzy on the wonderful day.

The Dandy
Dandelion and Burdock with an ice cream float. Serve with a Union Jack flag garnish and a well groomed moustache. Ideal for the darling whippersnappers and the designated carriage driver.

Anything made with a soda stream
Orange squash, milk, caramel. Bubbles are the thing. Try coronation chicken served in egg cups for a conversation piece.

The Prince Harry
Vodka, rum and Courvoisier shaken with ice and topped up with Guinness and Veuve Cliquot. Pre drink chest beating optional. Drink rapidly and roar.

In abundance, but always hot. Test drive some tea cosies for performance beforehand. Also a good excuse to invest in that just fabulous Royal wedding tea set you’ve been secretly so desperate for.

The Middleton
Warm scrumpy.

Boil water, sugar, lemon rind and lemon juice to make a syrup. Dilute with cold water. Chill and pour over ice to serve. Nuffin funny about that, just tasty.

Punch-up (at a wedding)
A bit of 4, a dash of 9, a careful amount of 3 and lashings of 6.  All turned into magic by 2. Present in a bucket/ bin/ bathtub and quaff out of Union Jack paper cups.

A strawberry in a shot glass covered with Fraise de Bois and topped with cream. To be drunk without using hands.

The Crown Jewels
A shot of Goldschläger. This must be drunk while wearing a shiny tiara on the designated party throne (surely you thought to include one?) Feel free to do this naked for double-entendre hilarity.

The Honeymoon
A mug of hot, spiced, Proper English Mead. Or, two pain killers and an abundance of water (on-tap if you will).